Albert Hutler

Before I launch into my mini-review, let me issue a disclaimer: I hate Michael Bay. I hate his movies, I hate his continued employment as a director, and I hate the cumulative effect he has had on American cinema as a whole. I hate that all of my friends love the piece of shit known as The Rock, and I hate that anybody I know can actually tolerate Bad Boys II. I think I came as close as I've ever come to self-mutilation while watching The Island. But I thought there might be a chance of something decent in Transformers. Why? Well, my reasoning was that a concept as retarded as Transformers may do well in the hands of a director as retarded as Michael Bay. In case you didn't know, some of the bigger releases have started scoffing at the concept of midnight releases, instead opting to offer multiple showings, beginning at 8 pm, the day before the official opening. That was the case with Transformers, and I'm happy that I don't have to go late to work tomorrow like I did when I saw the midnight showing of Live Free or Die Hard last week. So Darren and I, possessors of little to no patience, couldn't pass up the chance to see one of the biggest summer blockbusters as early as possible. You know what? It was pretty damned entertaining. That's my judgment. Bear in mind my personal opinion on the concept, though, once again: it's ludicrous. Giant robots that can turn at the drop of a hat into whatever damn make of Camaro they want? Yeah, that's never made sense. But taking that starting point as a given, when shit blows up in as spectacular a fashion as it does in Transformers, you just can't help but be impressed. It's kinda like the Special Olympics. You know they can't compete on a regular playing field, but dammit if you're not impressed with how well they do despite their limitations. Despite some things that didn't make any sense even within the frame of a whole lot of shit that doesn't make any sense, the script was surprisingly enjoyable, and Shia LaBeouf did a pretty good job as the lead. The autobots learned English from the World Wide Web, so they said, and Jazz was still the robotic version of a jive-talkin' black man. Darren suggested he may have only had time to visit the BET website. Who am I to judge? Oh, right. I forgot. Anyway, go see it. It's long, but it doesn't feel long, which is surprising for a movie by the man who churned out shit like Pearl Harbor. There's a lot of humor packed into it, and it feels refreshingly organic. Not too forced at all. If you don't see it, you're probably a communist. Buy your tickets to Gitmo now, Trotsky.

Movie Genres: Biography

Movie Released: Unknown Date

Video Length: 1 hr 1 min

Total Views: 805 Times

Website Rating: 0.00/5

IMDB Rating: Unavailable